so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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