Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize