apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i think i have herpe
just one?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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