used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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