how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
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After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
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my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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