I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
