Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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