he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
