I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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