there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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