my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
