Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
