my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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