I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
why do cheetos always look like penises
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
