Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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