What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
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You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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