If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize