oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize