Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You know, be my cock's hype man.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
