Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
