It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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