people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
