My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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