It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I touched a dick in church today
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
