He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
