so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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