This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
