did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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