By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
