Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
