you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
