like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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