You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
