You can't motorboat a personality
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
