Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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