DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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