we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
