i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
