Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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