Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

you were so drunk you slurred your pauses

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night

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(513): View more from Ohio

You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(416): View more from Toronto

juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.

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(404): View more from Georgia

He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse

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(248): View more from Michigan

The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks

(248): View more from Michigan

Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down

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(253): View more from Washington

Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.

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