you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
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She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
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Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.