Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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