I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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