I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize