i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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