the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
