is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
