Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
