So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
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and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
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Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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