do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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