I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
