I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
