She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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