Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm sobbing to NWA
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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