I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize