We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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