I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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